Although I never had much of an ass growing up, I have one now and I absolutely love it. I turn the water on, adjust the temperature, and there is a loud grinding sound. The water starts sputtering so I lean in to turn it off and black water sprays out of the spout. As I try to turn it off, the pipes start banging and the thick black liquid sprays out of the shower head, covering me with the foul smelling stuff. In my panic to get out of the stream, I slip and land naked in the tub that is quickly filling with it. I scream in disgust and turn the knobs, but nothing happens. “I have to find the shut off valve,” I say to myself. “And unfortunately they are usually located under the house.” I grab a towel and run out the cabin. It is starting to get dark and the chill in the air makes my nearly naked body shiver. I run around to the back and thankfully the shut off valve is not under the house. “This is just great,” I grumble to myself. “One weekend, one freaking weekend just for. " Is this the first time you've flown on the sleigh?"She laughed. "It's the first time any elf but Santa has flown on the sleigh," she said. She frowned. "Well ... except for the maintenance crew. They take her up for test flights now and then. When some new technology is installed."She tossed her head, and the blond tresses that had fallen across her face were thrown back. It was so like what he'd seen countless human girls do that it made her seem quite normal. His eyes flicked to the pointy tips of her ears.So much for normal."You have Spock ears," he said, without thinking.Her eyes darted to his face."Spock has our ears!" she said, gravel in her voice. It was very fine gravel, though. More of the kind of rasp in a singer's voice that usually made Bob get stiff in his pants.That happened now.She frowned again, and her eyes went to the front of his red velvet trousers."Don't even think about it," she said. "I told you about the natural subconscious attraction. I also told you to.
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